Communication vs Gossip

Today I want to talk about the difference between communication and gossip. Healthy communication is when you express yourself in a calm, kind, honest, respectful way. It's a two-way street that involves active listening and understanding. On the other hand, gossip involves spreading rumors or discussing private information about other people without their consent.

I am so blessed that many of my loved ones live within five to seven minutes of each other. Even my brother moved here from Mexico with his beautiful wife and kids. I'm surrounded by a lot of amazing, loving relatives. And because we’re together so often there is a lot of, "Oh, how is so-and-so doing?” Or, “What is so-and-so up to?" I realize that in that moment, I can say, "Oh, thank you so much for asking, so-and-so is doing great," and leave it at that. That's communicating in that instance. I can just say, "Oh, yes, they’re doing amazing. They’re doing great."

If someone were to continue to ask me further questions, then I can say, "They’re doing great. If you want to know more, maybe you should just pick up the phone and call them and say hi. You can ask them yourself.” I don’t go into details or anything about their life, because to me that is gossiping. It keeps things, in a way, private and confidential.

So, how can we avoid gossiping? Here are some tips:

1. Think before you speak: Before sharing information about someone else, ask yourself whether it's necessary, kind, or respectful. If it's not, then it's likely gossip.

2. Do you have permission to share information about this person or situation? If not, keep it to yourself or as I say it, “Keep your mouth shut.”

3. Avoid spreading rumors: If you hear a rumor, don't spread it further. Instead, ask the person directly if it's true, or keep it to yourself.

4. Stop the cycle of gossip by listening to your intuition. If you listen, your gut will usually tell you if something is private information or not. If it feels private, do the respectful thing and don’t repeat it to anyone else.

5. Gossiping is keeping the focus on others instead of you. Gossip can take away from the things you need to do and focus on in your own life.

6. Gossip can create disruption of positive energy and build resentment for others.

Avoiding gossip, to me, is a way to keep my energy and relationships clean. So, next time you’re in a conversation with someone and the opportunity to gossip comes up, remember these four tips and steer the conversation into something more life-giving. There are so many more expansive things to talk about - your current dreams and goals, an upcoming trip, fun things that are happening in your life, an accomplishment you’re proud of. The options are endless.